I can read Sam's mind (wendy) wrote,
I can read Sam's mind
wendy

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but if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?

So I went to the doc yesterday and have an upper respiratory infection and a sinus infection. Explains a lot about my energy lately. She told me to stay home Saturday, Sunday and Monday. And....I called out for all three days. I've never taken three sick days in a row before. I feel insanely guilty. But I cover for my co-workers all the time and I know they're ok with covering for me once. Also, I slept for 12 hours last night.

cherie_morte has been all over twitter talking about rhythmsextion's amazing QB Verse, which happens to be one of my all time fave fics AND SO. I feel I may need to re-read. I haven't read it since 2012 (!!) so it's definitely time. I AM READY. Want to read it too and discuss every detail as we go?

Are any of you watching Wahlburgers? I'm obsessed. I mean, Donnie Wahlberg was my biggest high school crush, obvi. But I also love seeing their family dynamics -- there's an on-going bit where each kid asks their mom who is her favorite. She always answers with whoever she's talking to. It's hilarious.

The show really focuses on Paul, who is a chef and runs these restaurants. So it's interesting to see how that more "normal" profession meshes with his famous brothers. For example...they're looking for new restaurant sites so Paul had to fly somewhere or another to meet Mark. He knew Mark was filming and knew he'd be late, but Paul spent six hours sitting in an airport waiting. When Mark showed up, he protested, "What am I supposed to do? Tell Michael Bay I gotta go meet my brother?" Or, Paul (who is always stressed and very serious about his work) mentioned that he and Donnie played golf at an event and Mark starts ribbing him about wasting the day. Paul is sincerely shocked and says it's the first time anyone ever has questioned his work ethic!

I just love it. Fun show.

Another thing I'm obsessed with is Nyx mood lip gloss. So much stinking fun. I love the color and I love that it isn't sticky like most lip gloss. I don't wear anything on my lips but Made On's natural lip balm, but I might consider wearing the mood stuff in public. We'll see.

This brings me to my last topic for today...twitter. Twitter has been causing me extreme stress lately and I've been attempting to pull away from it. I don't know what it is about that medium, but the more I post on it, the worse I feel about myself. I understand that that's on me, but this is not an oversimplification -- it actually spirals me into depression. It makes me annoyed at friends. It makes me angry. It makes me sad.

This is not new. I was re-reading some old LJ entries from last January, and I said the exact same things back then. So, every time I have the urge to tweet something, I've just pulled back and not done it. And you know what? I feel...more whole. I feel like...ok. When I tweet dumb, random things (picture of Starbucks, "I am stuck at a train AGAIN, " etc.) I feel like I fling those thoughts out into the universe and release them. When I don't tweet them, I feel like they fill me up inside. In a good way. Like, when I give it all out there, I'm empty. But I literally imagine each untweeted thought as a slip of paper that stacks up and up and up and fills me inside and makes me an actual human being.

I like having to deal with my thoughts instead of just releasing and forgetting them.

I do miss the interaction with friends, but I have emailed and sent real letters and, you know what? I've had BETTER conversations. ACTUAL conversations. Conversations that are private instead of being on blast for the entire world. Conversations that are longer than 140 character chunks. It's revolutionary.

I'm not saying I'll never use twitter again, of course I will. It's super fun to live!tweet TV shows, and I still have all this new season of Teen Wolf and something like 15 unwatched episodes of Arrow on my DVR! And I love tweeting conventions and award shows and shared experiences. But, for me, I have to find a new balance. I just have to.
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