Me: *insert standard greeting*
Caller: Hi, what time do you open?
Me: On which day?
Me: We opened at 10 a.m.
Caller: Oh wow, that's much earlier than I expected! Listen, I think I left my debit card there last night.
Me: Uh-oh! Hold on and let me transfer you to circulation, they handle all our Lost and Found stuff.
Caller: Oh ok, but it isn't really lost, I mean, I just left it there.
Caller: You know. When I opened a tab.
Me: Uhm, sir? This is the library.
Caller: WAIT. A public library?!?! Like...an ACTUAL LIBRARY????
Caller: Well, shit. I was trying to reach a bar called "The Library."
I died laughing and he audibly facepalmed. It was AMAZING.