April 11th, 2013

Rainbow Painted

taking form

I am having so much trouble with my boss, I sincerely don't know what to do. Every time I see her, she cuts me down. Which, on the one hand, we sort of have that relationship, and she knows I can take it. On the other hand, I CANNOT TAKE IT. It truly is starting to damage my self-esteem in a bad way. And talking to her about this would not go over well, or in my favor. She also keeps making these snide remarks about how I think I work harder than everyone else, which is not true. We all work hard. Including me. AND. She does our schedule, which is absolute chaos and mayhem and all times and I have to go to her about twice a month and point out that I'm scheduled for twelve straight days with no break and Hey! Novel idea! Could I have a day off? And then she gets pissed (mostly at herself, but taking it out on me) and the put-downs continue and ARGH. I just mostly want to crawl under my desk in a little ball and never come out.

Also, I have had a UTI for more than six weeks, been through three rounds on antibiotics, and am STILL miserable. Would love to see the doctor again, but I don't know when I would do that. This also is making me want to cry.

I miss having time to do things that are fun.

To balance all that:

Our last puppet show for this set is this morning. I love doing them SO MUCH. This particular group has been done for the library's early childhood centers, and the majority of the adults don't speak English. I'm narrating this one, so while my co-workers are setting up, I've been getting the kids to teach me Spanish words for the various animals that show up in the play. They love this! It's so fun and makes everyone feel included, and I miss working with little ones so, so much.

Finished a stellar book last night: Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell. SO GOOD. It's a teen looove story, not at all my speed, but this is brilliant. It's about so much MORE. And the language is incredible. It's very sparse, yet deliberate, every word has weight and meaning and evokes these incredible mind pictures. Awesome book, you must read it.

Speaking of rainbows (yes I was), one of the YC staff has been teasing me about getting tattoos together. The other day, we decided we all needed Dewey tats, so we designed one for everyone working that day. SO FUN. We picked rainbows for me, of course. I sort of want to do it for real. Maybe some day.
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