But more importantly, I have been thinking a lot about how I cannot get along with anyone anymore. I have three co-workers that could disappear from Earth and I'd be a-ok with it. This is something that never has happened to me before. I always can get along with almost anyone.
I also have noticed lately that I just think so many people are irritating. And, THEY ARE. But goodness, surely everyone in the world can't ACTUALLY be annoying, right?
I mean, I recognize that the common denominator in all these situations is ME. I'm impatient and defensive and short tempered. Part of it is that I've just reached a point where I cannot put up with negative energy anymore. But, on the other hand, I'm giving off more negative energy than anyone else.
How to fix this? I don't know. I am actively working to be more patient and calm, and to blow off work stuff as much as I can. But here I am, just had a situation occur this Sunday with the co=worker up there in the first paragraph. So, I'm not doing well with this either!
I know I'm stressed, I know I'm tired...but how much of that would be alleviated if I could figure out how to get along with people? I mean, it's either that or fully embrace being a hermit. I cannot continue being in a place where I'm actively making things worse for other people. It's unacceptable, and it's too heavy to carry. I have to figure out how to make it better, I have to figure out how to BE better.
Short term goals: